Thanks Wen for reminding me that I was this close to breaking my new year resolution of blogging at least once a month. You're a life saver :)
So what of Ideals and Idiots?
A really interesting lady I met recently said something that I just loved:
"Seems uncool to be idealistic anymore. But I can't keep up with the fads, so I'm sticking to the ideals"
It's so unbelievably true, especially here in Singapore on a number of fronts. I could go on and on about the various ways this statement rings true. But as it is late, let me just hit on one that really gets in my face on a pretty recurrent basis.
I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this, but in my office, some elder admin ladies always gather to have lunch. They bring their home cooked tupperwares of various cuisines and have their daily mid-day chats. Mind you that my office pantry is pretty small, so everything me and the rest of the office overhear is simply because proximity.
I wish I could say that they have typical office banter and married-lady type of gossip, but honestly, I cannot brand it any other way. I say it's downright poison the stuff they say. Sure they talk about healthy food and their families, but one topic that always seems to dominate their lunches is how there is no such thing as romance or happily married couples. Every male on earth is unfaithful to his wife, or is just about to commit adultery if he hasn't yet. So they go on and on about how this guy cheated and how that guy was unfaithful. From there, they go on about how ladies need to do this and that to keep their man. It's completely toxic and is communicating seriously wrong messages to the next generation of ladies. Sounds exaggerated right? But I mean it.
The day all their evil banter truly reared it's head was when I was having lunch in the pantry with a female colleague of mine. Just a normal quick bite before getting back to the grind. Just another session of involuntary eavesdropping as well, since the admin aunties were only a few feet away. My annoyance at the rubbish they spew has obviously grown a little numb over the years, but not for my colleague. After our lunch, we chucked our trash and went back to our desks, which was when I noticed her tearing. Her tears turned into something more emotional and I went over to her. She was really crying because she's been with her boyfriend of quite a few years and obviously marriage is not too far off on the horizon. But hearing the trash they spew, it really gets to her. It truly shakes the very core of all the pictures of security and happiness that she would love to have with her man. I know the guy. He's awesome. Works hard, sociable and in my opinion an all-round good guy. I've seen them together, they are a beautifully imperfect couple. I find it hard to imagine either of them being unfaithful. That says a lot considering how cynical I can be.
Granted, lots of guys do cheat on their ladies. Heck, I know lots of ladies who cheat on their men. There are people who do wrong things all over the place. But I for one feel that the bitterness and bad experiences of the previous generation should not be passed down. Cultural norms and societal circumstance have changed. Yes, they haven't changed enough as of yet, but things are on the upswing.
Are there truly no good guys out there? Is faithfulness so difficult that men and women must turn to evil mind games and antics just to maintain the facade of a stable, picture-perfect family?
I don't think so.
I do believe in trust. I do believe in life-long romance. A lot of us may not have found it yet, but it's out there. Good guys and good gals are not as rare as we think. Just be patient and keep hearts and eyes open. I'm still searching, but the more patience I exercise, the more this is proving itself to be true.
Seems naive and idiotic to believe in ideals. But I choose that kind of life that hopes and believes. I choose that life over one filled with twisted manipulation and festering insecurity. It takes faith and can be scary, but I can't imagine living any other way.
Naivety is idiotic. The faith and courage of heart to pursue ideals is not.
